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Hello new and existing customers. This section of the site will go over most things you may want to know.

Shipping is sent out in the order it was received. If you order on a Monday you may not go out until the following week depending on how many people are in front of you in line.  

If you are out of the country ( USA) we can hold your order until it hits 100 or there is a 12.00 shipping charge. Out of country shipping is very expensive and many companies no longer offer it. 

When we give you tracking it’s after we went to the post office. Emailing me that the tracking doesn’t work will not get a response as it can be found here. Tracking can take a day to update with USPS. 

We ship using USPS. If your out of the country and want Fedex be prepared to pay at least 120.00. We make no money off of it, it’s actually what it costs, sometimes more.

Emailing us on Tuesday when you bought on Monday will get your IP banned. Please use logic, we can’t flap our wings and personally deliver it to you next day. 

We don’t work weekends. I don’t run an internment camp and my employees must be happy and mentally healthy. 

The use of items other than how they are supposed to be used is not recommended. Here is a real life example. Dee Dee the ring is stuck in my butt, what do I do? Well... you might have to fish it out but I’m not giving an already brain dead idiot medical advice! 

38.00 items are wear and go. You might not get what’s in the picture on those 38.00 items. We do a lot of them in various forms. It’s not a bait and switch as it should be above every listing. If not please notify me.

If you’re mentally deficient or mentally handicapped, we treat everyone the same. If you can push a buy button you can adhere to the rules of the website. Telling me your legally insane will not have me issue you a refund. If you tell me you have multiple personalities and the personality emailing me didn’t buy it, you best get in touch with the one who did! Remember, all inclusive! No one left behind!

No one is coming to live with me! Don’t even ask! After Donkey Jaws my charitable behavior has been flushed into the septic!

Please, Please, Please when you email me give me the name you ordered under. Many of you use these made up cutesy tootsie names and I’m just not about that fake life. To each his own but when you want me find your order and you sign your name Black wizard who dangles his dingle in the moonlight among elves, I can’t find that! I need your real name, the name you ordered with! This site is for grown ups living a grown up life. 

Hand holding. I can’t do it. If you are a exceptionally needy person it’s best you go to one of the sites where they can chat with you all day, I can’t. They will stroke your ego and make you feel special, I’m honestly just not good at it.

Serious people with issues they need to talk about, I AM here to help you. 

This website is for entertainment purposes only because I can’t prove to the world jack-all!

There is a chat on this website. If I see it pop up or I’m not driving, sleeping, eating or engaging in some other pleasures I will answer.

Thank you for understanding. Let’s keep it real, Dee Dee


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